You might be a bad parent if….

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Thanks to the polar vortex that I have named BOB, we were all “fortunate enough” to spend additional time with our families locked inside for hours on end!

It was enough to drive some of the best parents to drink, it also started a flurry of e-mails and Facebook posts to DAD about “how to control their kids?”  As a matter of fact I get that a lot “my kid is out of control, how do I control her/him? They are monsters, out of control, taking over the house, getting notes from the teacher and on and on.”

My answer is always the same” spend time with them, pay attention to them, listen to them.”  It’s not a hard formula, but can be pretty hard to do.  Kids don’t care about your Google Analytics or spreadsheets; they want to be with y-o-u, 100% for as much as you can offer.” DAD knows it’s hard and time is at a premium, but that’s about all I got in form of advice on how to be a good parent.

DAD did get a chance to chat with other parents and came up with a list on how to tell if you are a bad parent.  With the help of his friends and a few examples from some really bad parents here’s DAD’s list of You might be a bad parent if….

1. If you have more pictures of you drunk on your Facebook wall than of your kids. You might be a bad parent
2. If the baby sitter quit because she needs a break. You might be a bad parent
3. If the only time you go outside with your kids is to yell at the gardner. You might be a bad parent
4. If the people at work are surprised to learn you have kids and you have a four year old. You might be a bad parent
5. If the bartenders know your name but your kids don’t. You might be a bad parent
6. If you need a “morning” nanny. You might be a bad parent
7. If your kid holds all the high scores on PS3 and he’s 6. You might be a bad parent
8. If your kid knows how to make “hair of the dog”. You might be a bad parent
9. If your kids think Chef Boyardee is a family member. You might be a bad parent
10. If your kids call the iPad, “Dad.” You might be a bad parent
11. If your toddler makes the meanest Bloody Mary in town. You might be a bad parent
12. If your kid has her own butt groove on the couch in front of the TV. You might be a bad parent
13. If you’re the one who needs the diaper change. You might be a bad parent
14. If you’re the one with the (court-ordered) curfew. You might be a bad parent
15. If you’re the one attached to a woman’s boob. You might be a bad parent
16. If your kids know drinking songs before they know ABC’s. You might be a bad parent
17. If you and the cab drivers text just to say “hi”. You might be a bad parent
18. If your toddler knows your favorite beer and how to open the bottle. You might be a bad parent
19. If your toddler encourages your newborn to drink their milk by yelling, “chug, chug, CHUG! You might be a bad parent
20. Your kid tucks you in at night. You might be a bad parent

And on and on.  What would you add to this list?

Thanks to my pals at thew new Super Blog Just A Dad 247, comedian, actor all round dude Bob Wiltfong, Cindy Wallach and my CN sista’ Brandi Wall for their contributions.

You’re a Good Parent if you like DAD on Facebook by clicking here.