If you’re a parent and have your hearing, odds are at some point you have lost your temper with your kids and wanted to or have screamed one of the flowing phrases: “shut the fu^k up,” shut your da&n mouth,” be quiet, be quiet, be quiet,” or if you’re my brother in law, “ I hope Jesus gives you the strength to stop flapping your gums.”
It’s part of the parenting “circle of life,” your kids are going to annoy you to the point of exploding.
This is exactly what happened to me about a month ago. My four year old had a case of verbal diarrhea. For hours, no matter where we were, no matter what we were doing, he wouldn’t stop talking, about monster trucks, his stuffed animals, food, Cailou, pooping, Spiderman, it went on and on and on.
Finally as I was trying to make a call, I turned to him and yelled “buddy, I need you to shut the hell up, just shut your mouth for the next 5 minutes, stop talking!”
Without hesitation, he looked at me with his sweet blue eyes and said, “oh, you want me to swallow a bubble.”
With that, he sat on the floor and pretended to hold his breath as if he was swallowing a bubble. For the next three minutes as I made my call, he sat silently, perfectly still!
I was shocked! I could hardly concentrate on my call as I watched my son, sitting silently. When I got off the phone, he looked up at me and said, “dad you have to tell me to unswallow the bubble.”
When I said the words, he went back to talking, as if I hit the “play button” in a never ending loop.
To test the miracle I just experienced, I looked at him again and said the magic words, “swallow a bubble.” Bam! He did it again, down on his butt, puffed up cheeks, silent.
I gave the command, “Un-swallow.” This time before he could start to talk, I asked him, where he had learned this amazing new trick? I am not close to that good of a parent to come up with something that calm and creative. Unless he learned to read and forgot to share that with us as well, I know he didn’t pick it up from a blog.
“ It’s what our teacher says to us when she needs the class to be quiet.” He explained. “When we all have to be quiet, she says swallow a bubble and we sit on the floor and swallow a pretend bubble.”
No anger, no yelling, simple, easy to follow. “Swallow a bubble.”
It’s contagious, my oldest is a victim of the pre-swallow a bubble days. One afternoon when she saw the full power of the “swallow a bubble” magic, she not only laughed, but started to do it as well!
My wife and I even use it on each other, though very carefully.
Before I ask any of them to “Swallow a bubble” I make it very clear that they are not in trouble or being punished, I try not to say it in an angry tone either, just very matter of fact “Dad needs a second, swallow a bubble.”
A tip on how to teach them to swallow a bubble is to do it with them. First explain what it means, then you ask them to say it to you, “dad swallow a bubble.” Show them exactly what you expect to happen. Chances are you will get a giggle, it will lighten the mood and you are teaching them by example.
It’s not something you want to break out a lot, as with most things you use with your kids, the more you use it, the less potent it becomes. However, after explaining the rules of how it works, swallow a bubble can become your parenting path to piece without having to bust our any four letter words.
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