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BC– Before Children, I used to call my wife by her first name as we drank wine, discussed things we read in the paper, worked out or walked for the sake of enjoyment.
ACK–After Children/Kids, She is now “Mommy, Honey, Babe or Wife.”
Mommy can you please get me a roll of toilet paper, someone seemed to forget to change the roll when she was done!
“Honey.”
Honey, here’s a little math problem for you. When you can’t find your car keys and you take my car keys to work, that leaves how many sets of car keys for me to use all day?
“Babe, “
Babe I do want to “you know,” but that last Guinness and burrito are playing Escape from Planet Daddy and I’m not all that “clean” down there at the moment. It’s a no fly zone.
or “Wife.”
Wife! Your son decided today was the day he was going to learn to wipe his as$ using an entire roll of toilet paper, clogging the toilet and flooding the entire second floor.
I’m not sure I even use her name during sex? Unless her name is Sofia as in Vergara, I know I say that a lot.
Back to the point, I realized that I the only time I use her name is when we are arguing and I am trying to pound a point home. “You’re right Marie, we don’t need to have a 500 inch HD projection theater in the backyard, Marie, but Marie, since we are never going to make it to a theater again Marie, I thought it would be something we could enjoy Marie!
My wife’s name has become a four-letter word. When the Marie did that happen?
NOTE–Her name isn’t Marie, but I would like to see her naked again this year, so I changed it.
I decided enough was enough and while we were at lunch, I politely said, “Marie, can you pass the salt?”
“What’s wrong with you!” She barked at me.
“Nothing is wrong at all Marie, I just want the salt.” I said as calmly as I could.
“I’m not in the mood to play a game with you, if something is wrong David (my name is a four letter word as well) then just say it.” She was getting pretty mad, which was an added bonus.
Before she hit me with a cinnamon roll, I explained to her what I was doing and why, which calmed her down.
While we still slip into the Mommy, Daddy, Babe, Honey routine, we have been making an effort to call each other by our actual names. Our kids think it’s creepy, but in a small way, it reminds me that we are more than just Mommy and Daddy running from soccer to the changing table at the speed of light, we are people. We are a man and a woman who are in love, who have lived a lot, grown a lot together and are truly blessed to have three kids and a house full of pee stained walls.
Though she may never stop taking my car keys to work, I am a lucky guy.
Do you call your spouse by their first name? If not, try it and see what happens.
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