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When I became a parent, I pictured a home that was free of swearing, a place where there was time to make home cooked meals three times a day, the beds were always made, and the TV was never on.
Then after about 48 hours and zero sleep, the TV flipped on, I warmed up some Spaghetti-O’s, I yelled to my wife to “change the fuc&ing diapers” and the plan went out the window.
It was a pretty steep slide down hill from there. Though we try our best not to swear in front of the kids, it’s a losing battle. My wife comes from Farm Folk, good honest people who work hard and have massive potty mouths.
Our kids, being the little human tape recorders hear the four letter words and spit them back out loud, usually at the most inopportune times.
I might be slightly responsible as well. When my son was two and a half, we were at dinner, he slammed his hands on the table and exclaimed “ I don’t’ want to eat this food G&ddamit!” That of course made his older sister burst into laughter, which of course made my son do it more and left my wife and I looking at each other with the “this is your fault look on our faces.” We decided to blame it on Grandma…It was me.
The Ying to our swearing Yang, is our kids and their constant interrupting our conversations, on the phone, in the car, at the table, if there is a chance to get some extra air time they go for it.
We devised a plan to keep our potty mouths in check while at the same time keep our kids from constantly interrupting. All it takes is a bit of patience and a few cookies (your choice on flavor).
Every time we swear, our kids get a cookie. Every time they interrupt we get a cookie. The key to making it work is remembering to call it out every time it happens and letting your kids know it’s ok to call you out on it.
The other day I was on the phone with a friend and I dropped the F-bomb while my son was in the room. I walked over to the pantry, grabbed an Oreo, handed it to him and apologized for using a bad word. It showed him it’s ok to tell daddy he’s a potty mouth.
Whenever they interrupt, we get a cookie. “You owe me a cookie” is a polite way of saying “shut the hell up!” and it doesn’t embarrass them when you are out.
It becomes a fun game that cuts down on the chaos and foul language that has a tendency to fly around a house.
Don’t worry about your kids going into sugar shock or gaining 20 pounds, it usually evens out between swearing and interrupting that very few actual cookies exchange hands. It’s a fun, non-yelling way to engage your kids in learning rules, making you accountable and also sweet the pleasure of a cookie earned.
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