Follow
I have a four year old boy who is “mostly” potty trained. His pee pants to non- pee pants ratio is pretty low.
As a parent you know there is that glorious moment, when you know you no longer have to kneel in urine soaked floors or wipe a poop butt any more. I think there should be a potty trained quince Nero, complete with a mariachi band, piñatas filled with never used wipes and plenty to drink. It’s worth celebrating.
You think it’s the glorious end, however if you have a boy, it’s just half time. Though he barely pees in his pants, aim is another issue.
I’m sure in the “caveman days” Mr. and Mrs. Thag Caveman didn’t have to worry about aim. They would just take their cave boy out side the cave, point him at a tree, shrub or Mastodon and let him do his business. No fuss, no muss.
Now in the “post caveman” days, aim is a big deal, or when you are four no aim is a better description. Everything distracts this kid, which leads to pee on the floor, pee on the bowl, pee on the basin, pee on the wall and in one strange incident, pee on the toilet paper!
I have a friend whose wife is convinced that their toilet is broken because there is always pee on the floor next to the base of the toilet.
You can only “help aim” for so long, before you have to take drastic measures. I have tried standing next to him and saying “aim buddy aim.” That only leads to him looking up at me and pee ending up on the wall. I have tried bribes, threats and gifts, none of it works for that long and the pee flies free.
A few things to remember. Guys aren’t that great at aim. At 45, peeing is one of the few things I can do completely with my eyes closed. I wake up stumble to the bathroom, feel my shins hit the bowl and let fly. If I hear water, great, if I don’t a shift and keep going
The “pee shiver” is a unknown and uncontrollable phenomenon that happens when you least expect it and sends pee flying everywhere. It’s like a mini- pee seizure that starts at your penis and flies up your spine, making your whole body convulse, the result, pee flying every place, like an escape fire hose.
Aim is not our strength. We won’t even get into that weird split stream that happens for no reason. Who the heck knows what causes that? Too many sun flower seeds?
To help with aim, I have come up with two things that really work well. First, “the Pee game.” Kids like games and “The Pee Game” started when I was cleaning up stray pieces of dog food on the floor. I tossed a piece into the toilet and thought “ this would make great target practice?” As I knocked that piece of kibble, or maybe it was a “bit” across the bowl, it hit me, “ this is fun, I wonder if it would work with a Cheerio?” Several glasses of water later, it did in fact work with Cheerio!
Later that day, I announced to my son that I had a new game! I have never watched him concentrate so intently before, he was aiming at the Cheerio and all of the pee stayed in the bowl! He was amazing and I didn’t have to clean up after him. Now we keep a small bowl of Cheerios next to the toilet, he can work on his aim and have a snack at the same time.
Next is the pee light. I wake him up in the middle of the night to pee. We are working our way out of pull ups and a mid- sleep pee is always a good way to keep the sheets dry. At first I would keep the bathroom light on, which made his eyes hurt, which made him close his eyes and resulted in a pee-nami (pee all over the village).
As I looked at different night lights, there were a lot of cool options, from the basic light to a laser in the bowl. These are all between $10-$30 bucks and seem like a lot to keep your floor from smelling like the toilets at North Avenue Beach.
I found normal, LED hallway lights at Target for $7, they have little light sensors on them that turn the light on when it gets dark and you can aim them. I plugged them into the bathroom socket, aimed them and boom, enough light to see, the bowl is lit up and he can do his business. Less work for daddy in the AM. If you feel crazy productive, you can run an extension cord to hang the light directly over the toilet, use some duck tape to hold it up and you have a pee spot light.
Unless they make the troths at Wrigley a household thing, aim is never going to be something guys master, however these two tricks will help your little guy master the idea of aim, provide them with a little fun and snacks!
What have you tried to help your kids keep it in the bowl?
If you want more D.A.D. tips, stories, news and reviews, make sure to LIKE our Facebook page, by clicking here.
Type your email address in the box and click the “create subscription” button. My list is completely spam free, and you can opt out at any time.
