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My son got in trouble(again) for hitting someone at camp. As we discussed what happened, he told me it was an accident, he was swinging something and hit a kid that he didn’t see.
My response,”You are my son, if you say it was an accident, I believe you. I trust you and know you would never lie to be, because if you do, the ground will break open and the devil will drag you to hell.”
It’s been a looong week, I needed him to “get it” quickly. Yes, I get the irony, I was lying to teach him about lying, it made me think about the lies we tell our kids to make it through the day.
I posed this question to the DAD Fans on Facebook(click here to LIKE our page) and here are their answers.
The Lies We Tell Our Kids To Make It Through The Day
Bobbi Jo –If you don’t eat your green beans, your boobies won’t grow!
Jenna -“The cafe at the gym doesn’t sell pizza anymore.”
DAD– I called. McDonalds is closed for the week. We can go there when it re-opens(works for all restaurants).
Jen- When the ice cream truck plays music it means they are out of ice cream man is going home to see his children.
Nicole- For the longest time my kids thought the ice cream truck sold vegetables. They would hear the music and ask what it was. Told them the vegetable truck.
Becky- If you don’t let me cut your fingernails your fingers are gonna fall off
DAD- If you have sex before you’re in love it leaves a horrible rash and burns a lot(double if it’s with a member of TKE).
Phyllis- When my 20-month-old wants to watch JoJo’s Circus for the 20th time on Netflix, I tell her “JoJo went to sleep.” She replies, “Night night JoJo,” and the requests stop. JoJo sleeps a lot some days
Julie -You have to sit in your car seat or the police will come & take mommy away.
Allie- Has Three!!!
1. Picking your nose makes your fingers fall off (a reaction to boogers), “
2.If you don’t finish that last chicken nugget, you are not going to Chuck E. Cheese” (Because I always leave my kids at home by themselves and go play at chuck E. Cheese with my husband).
3.When I forget to get BBQ Sauce with their happy meals, I tell them McDonalds is out of it.
Christie- We have to go! They’re closing! This works for any store or the pool. My older one is catching on though.
Amy- When my 4 year old wont behave I either: Pretend to call and enroll him in “Behavior Camp,” or pretend to call the mean babysitter, ” Mrs. Crabtree.”
Jeff- Mommy and Daddy were wrestling, the reason mommy was on top was because she was winning. After being caught having sex.
Tara- My husband told our 4 year old nephew “if we bathe the dogs two or more days in a row, all their fur falls out! I read it on the Internet just now.
DAD- If you don’t wash your hair, bats are going to nest in it and start to eat your brains.
Erin – I have been known to tell my kids that I send weekly behavior reports to the North Pole.
Patti- My son thinks I have Santa’s cell phone number , and I’m not afraid to use it.
Crystal- When we went shopping, before they could read, and they couldn’t keep their hands off stuff, I would point to random signs and tell them that it said, All children must hold their thumbs” (make a fist with thumbs tucked in). I also told my youngest that she had to learn to use the potty quick because they didn’t make diapers for three year olds. They are 19, 16 and 13 now and seem not to be suffering any long term damage.
What else did we miss? Leave your “lies’ below and remember to share DAD with your friends and LIKE us on Facebook. I know it seems petty, but every like an angel gets her wings.
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